Happy Family Day!

So Monday February 21st is Family Day.  Hooray for a long weekend!  But shouldn’t it be more than just another day off?  Here’s the thing…I love my children and I am blessed to have teenagers who still want to spend time with me, but if all the malls are closed I can guarantee I will hear “Mom, I’m bored!” at least once.  So what can we do to make Family Day a pleasure rather than a chore?

I’d love to tell everyone to turn off the television, the video games, and the computers and spend time together doing something fun.  For some that comes more easily than others.  What if your child or children don’t want “quality time”?  What if they’d rather talk to their friends on Facebook or Twitter than their old parents?  Time for some creative thinking! 

I have learned a few things in the last 14 years of parenting.  First, I will never feel as appreciated as I would like to and I have to recognize the small gestures when they present themselves, as fleeting as they may be.  Second, the more I talk to the kids about doing something (like putting away the laundry or going to a movie) the less likely they are to want to do it.  Third, if I meet them where they’re at I get results.  Here’s my plan – it’s radical and you may not all agree, but I have tested it and it works.  I am going to hang out with my kids while they play video games and chat on Facebook and just see what happens.  I know what you’re thinking.  Trust me, this works.  I have had the best, most personal and revealing conversations when driving or doing something around the house and talking with the kids.  The secret?  Avoid eye contact.  It takes the pressure off and it’s just as meaningful.  I have even found that they start to ignore the screen in front of them as they become more engaged in the conversation.  I’m not forcing them into an awkward face-to-face conversation but I am engaging them while being physically present.

The family is one of the most important and basic units of every society.  Society is changing and so are families.  We have to learn to adapt while not giving up on core values.  Maybe we don’t sit around the table every single night to a home cooked meal, but that doesn’t mean we don’t connect as a family.  Figure out what works best for your family and before you know it you’ll be enjoying each others company.  You just never know what you’ll have to laugh about until you start talking.  Happy Family Day!!

Nancy Bird, Community Development Director